You know? The least. The very LEAST. The absolute most tiniest FUCKING thing you could do, seeing as ALL the applications now run online and/or via email is prepare a BLOODY form mass email to send out to all the people who haven;t been shortlisted for your ENTRY LEVEL COFFEE RUN JOB.
Just ONE FUCKING LINE that says "Soory, you didn't make it. Better luck next time.", click on the list of applicants and send that ONE. LINE.
It doesn't cost any money. It takes hardly any time as I'm sure you collect the applications somehwere and it is JUST COMMON COURTESY.
I mean FUCK! Sending out about 20-30 applications without getting even a goddmaned PEEP back?
It is so DEMEANING and DEPRESSING and basically MURDERS MY SOUL AND THEN PISSES ON ITS BODY.
Seriously. I feel like I might as well shout at a wall. Or show my portfolio to the pigeons in the park. I'd get more of a reaction from them.
And the worst part? I know I'm good. I know my work is good. Not stellar, but solid for a graduate. I've graduated with a first. I've done an abroad semester and an abroad internship. I'm trilingual.
And all of that is apparently for shits. I am 25 and unemployed. I hate disappointing my parents. I hate seeing my friends succeed in their fields. I hate how it makes me feel stupid and useless. I hate having to explain myself to social services. I hate receiving dole money. I hate not being able to buy the christmas gifts I want to buy. I hate that my life is going nowhere whilst my best friend has moved in together with her boyfriend in a gorgeous flat and has just started her specialised schooling as a therapist while at the same time working for her old department at uni. I hate that I don't even have a boyfriend. I hate that I cannot seem to draw anymore. I hate that my sister now works successfully in my field without having studied design. I hate that I sleep late. I hate crying so much. I hate that I cannot tap into my usual, borderline annoying exhuberant persona anymore. I hate that I don't like myself anymore. I hate the Dementors that have moved in.
And I'm sorry for venting this way, but if I didn't do it here, I'd explode in front of somebody from my family or friends and, somehow, I feel like I'm not strong enough to do that. Not at the moment, at least.
Listening to: Vampire Weekend
Reading: Hunger Games
Watching: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt1
Playing: "find the life"....
Drinking: Starbux Starbux and then some Starbux